This is one of my favorites. It gives a fresh and accurate perspective on a lot of things that girls should know about. It's basically a book all about guys for girls!
The book is based on a survey taken of young men, and it includes the results throughout. So we girls really do get the inside scoop on what is going on inside guys' heads. Some of it I already knew ( I do have three brothers), but a lot of it was really eye-opening.
I thought that the chapter on modesty was especially helpful, because guys are telling us what is hard for them. If you are struggling with your attitude regarding modesty, copy one of the quotes and put it on the wall in your closet! It's easy to think they should just get over it and we shouldn't have to have less fun because of their stupid problems, but this book really is really convicting to that attitude. They are wired differently, and we just can't fully understand the way they think.
Another thing that was really emphasized, was that guys really crave respect. We gals want to be loved, and so we assume that's what they want most too. One of the survey results showed that a much greater percentage of young men would rather be respected than loved. A lot of it can definitely help in relating to any guys, whether it's your dad, guy friends, brothers, or a fiance.
Valentine's Day is this Sunday... so I decided to do a post on love.
Our culture says that romantic love is basically the most important thing... it's all you need, you won't be happy until you have it, etc. Yet it is also portrayed as a very inconstant thing. The majority of songs in many genres are about heartbreak--love that didn't last.
So it's the one thing you need in your life, but yet it is fleeting and inconstant?
Many love stories in songs, movies, and books are between two people who are completely obsessed with only each other. A girl is hopelessly in love with a boy, and she makes him her entire focus in life. He becomes a basically a god in her mind, and she thinks he is all she needs to be happy.
So guess what? When he lets her down, she is devastated because she has been essentially worshiping him. And I'm not saying this can only happen if she thinks he's perfect. You can make someone the focus of your life without thinking they are flawless.
In any kind of friendship, the people involved need to realize that the other person is human and will not always be there for them.
I remember in a Sunday school class several years ago, me and one of my friends were sitting with each other. Our teacher was talking about how every person in our life will let us down at some point, and that only God will always be faithful. Afterward my friend said, "You have never let me down!" Which was very sweet. :-) (She hadn't known me very long, LOL). And I remember thinking, "Not everyone will let me down."
Well... turns out, everyone did. And I'm sure I have let down my friend many times since then.
It seems like many of the love stories that are considered timeless, epic, etc, are really about two very selfish people who want to be together no matter what.
I think often, especially in romantic relationships, people want to be with the other person because it makes them feel good. "I want you because I want feel be comfortable, happy, and cared about." Obviously if both people are thinking in this way, it's not going to work out too well!
I believe the solution to these problems in relationships is realizing the fact that God should be the center of our lives, and our relationship with him will enable us to truly love others and not get things out of proportion. We all have the desire to be loved unconditionally, and unfailing. If we depend on people to give us the perfect love that only God can, we'll just end up bitter and disappointed.
The Bible does not tell us how short our skirts can be, how tight we should wear our shirts, or how much skin is appropriate to display. Christians have drastically different standards on how we should dress, because the Bible doesn't give us specific instructions on clothing.
However, it does have a lot to say about modesty of the heart. So obviously, God is more concerned that we have a modest heart, since wearing a loose dress that covers you neck to toe, paired with a heart that is anything but modest, is not true modesty at all.
Most Christian girls have some sort of vague personal standard for modesty. I think it is important not to force that on others, but I think that girls definitely have a place to say something to friend who is not dressing modestly (especially if brothers or other guys have mentioned that they have noticed this girl is not dressing modestly).
But it is a very touchy subject, because we don't want to offend people, but we still want to protect our brothers in Christ.
I think the two most important things to think about when dressing, is firstly, the fact that if we dress a certain way, it will make it harder for guys, and we do complain about guys being jerks, and this is a way to help them not be jerks!
And secondly, that we should be saving everything for our future husband. No young man would like his future wife to be sharing all that with every guy that walks by.